Wow very well written, your style is very easy to read and the words flow like water making the visualization appear naturally. Only suggestion I have is to go more in depth with your world building techniques; ie, the setting/kingdom they're in as well as explaining more about these students and scientists which seems to play a nuanced roll in the story.
Thanks for reading! And thank you even more for the suggestions, I think one of the benefits of sharing my work on Substack is to get suggestions on how to improve my story.
This is chapter 1, so worldbuilding will continue, I am currently writing the story, and as I write this I am working on chapter 10, so I'm not that far ahead, and I am still figuring out the world myself.
Despite this being chapter 1, you felt that it is still lacking depth in the world building? Does it feel that it is incomplete, and that it is hard to paint a picture in your mind as a reader of the setting in which the story takes place? Or are you interested in how the world building will involve in the next chapters (the latter is kind of what I am going for in the writing :)
👏👏👏 very cool! One moment for this character felt like a hundred. Or so the writing made it feel, of which I very much enjoyed. This chapter was consumable as a well cooked meal and I ate it up. Thank you. Cant wait to read the rest.
Wow very well written, your style is very easy to read and the words flow like water making the visualization appear naturally. Only suggestion I have is to go more in depth with your world building techniques; ie, the setting/kingdom they're in as well as explaining more about these students and scientists which seems to play a nuanced roll in the story.
Thanks for reading! And thank you even more for the suggestions, I think one of the benefits of sharing my work on Substack is to get suggestions on how to improve my story.
This is chapter 1, so worldbuilding will continue, I am currently writing the story, and as I write this I am working on chapter 10, so I'm not that far ahead, and I am still figuring out the world myself.
Despite this being chapter 1, you felt that it is still lacking depth in the world building? Does it feel that it is incomplete, and that it is hard to paint a picture in your mind as a reader of the setting in which the story takes place? Or are you interested in how the world building will involve in the next chapters (the latter is kind of what I am going for in the writing :)
This is a very compelling world! I am very much looking forward to chapter 2. She seemed very snooty, but good god, that poor woman!
Thanks Nicole!
Lol yes she is a bit snooty 😅
As for poor… we shall see very soon 😏
👏👏👏 very cool! One moment for this character felt like a hundred. Or so the writing made it feel, of which I very much enjoyed. This chapter was consumable as a well cooked meal and I ate it up. Thank you. Cant wait to read the rest.
Thanks so much for the kind words Dread Legacies!